Talk about it

Sex therapists agree that it is more important for women to talk about sex than men: ‘with women, the brain is the biggest erogenous zone,’ says Knowles, ‘and anger is a powerful libido dampener.’ Feeling responsible for everything at home, even if you’re not actually doing all the housework, can lead to a cycle of feeling cross followed by withdrawal. Sometimes, we’re not even aware that we’re doing it. ‘But if you can’t feel, you can’t do anything else that begins with F,’ quips Knowles.

Self-reflection is a great place to start on working out issues, but also see Susan Quilliam’s book Love Coach (Thorsons, £6.99). Tricky issues may benefit from counselling or psychosexual therapy, which has a high success rate – 80 per cent of couples that go to Relate sexual counselling report improved sexual relations two years later.